GeminiMAGAZINE
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Tall Caucasian males, I once read,
are the most successful people on the planet.
Andrew Jackson was tall and white, like
me, as are the CEOs of big companies.

So I decided that, though I could do nothing
about my color and height, I could at least
make an effort to be a failure. In this
I succeeded; but why should I live

unhappily? I am no less entitled to a good
life than so many short fat dumpy sniveling
white dudes. My brains are higher up
than theirs. So what is my problem? Was

I dropped on my head as a baby? Maybe;
but my best guess is tall Caucasian males
gross me out. Why would I want to be
like them? I prefer those whom they

stomp on, the Vietnamese, the bum,
the field workers of the world, or girl
in the cold with nowhere to go, looking for
a man (tall and white like me?) to hold her.

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John Oliver Hodges lives in Brooklyn and teaches writing at
Montclair State University in New Jersey. He is the author of
The Love Box, and War of the Crazies.
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TALL
CAUCASIAN MALES
by John Oliver Hodges